Body Squabbles

Groans are to our primitive nature what language is to civilization. Uggggghhhh.

Ever find your thoughts leading you down the same old paths?

Glasses help your eyes see more clearly but magnifying glass makes them superhuman.

Fascia holds you all together like an organic hairnet. Fascia is your friend.

Are your mobile calendar, camera and calls making you into a cellular cyborg?

Give thanks every day to your skull for holding your face in place.

Stains on your pillow are evidence of a late-night sebum party in your head.

When does something stop being old and begin the transition into ancient?

Putting yourself in someone else's shoes might only make it harder for both of you to walk.

Exercise to music to stimulate both your mood and your muscles.

Migraines are earthquakes in your head and their seismic effects can feel just as devastating.

There are some smelly cellular monsters living in the crypts and crevices of your tonsils.

We think of our bodies using tank or factory metaphors, but we are all made of stars.

Tattoos to remember, tattoos to enhance, tattoos to disguise – which sort of tattoo is for you?

Mutation is what makes us who we are. Be a proud mutant and keep mutating.

What language do the buildings surrounding you speak?

Are we human, or are we bacteria?

When your sight is impaired, you might just see more than you ever thought possible

The nose and lungs work in harmony, but what initiates breath?

The presence of your hands is preserved in the things they touch

Airing our wounds and cleaning our psyches are just some of the ways we heal ourselves, says illustrator Rob Bidder.

Good or bad, high or low, art has been around as long as human beings.

What do you have on your plate – animal, mineral or vegetable?

Are you a sporting legend or an athletic disaster? World peace might depend on it!

Wearing someone's clothes is the closest you'll get to wearing their skin. Hopefully.

Music. The varying frequency of a vibration that's strong enough to make you cry.

From rest to restlessness, tranquility to terror, the night is no place for words.

Pores are important holes that come in different squeezable sizes. Love your pores.

Don't let anger spoil your posh ice cream.

Just because it smells good doesn't make it sniffable.

Rock your body. Shake your stones. Dance like terminology doesn't matter.

Milk makes us mammals. It's something we have in common with all sorts of other creatures.

Oh, the sweet smell of sweat! So pure and yet so full of skin bacteria dissolving in watery secretions.

Intelligence might improve your social status, but social approval all depends on your attitude to it.

Pills. Blister packed weapons for physical and psychological protection.

Scrub, moisturise, cut and clean. What's your essential maintenance routine?

Whether tall or short, the height of your human can be both a hardship and a privilege.

Be human. Join a group. Be sociable. Hate everyone.

Your face is a unique landscape. Do you like the terrain you see?

Empty your mind, stay calm, breathe and ignore the annoying s**t

Your fantasies are limited only by your imagination. And sometimes a willing partner.

Bend it, shake it, move it. Just don't break it.

What kinds of flora and fauna do you cultivate in your mouth?

Here comes the sun (doo doo doo doo)

Ranked, graded and ordered into a structure that bestows and denies authority. But for who?

Sniffling and snuffling invite odour molecules to a party in your body

From an indicator of health to a taster of flavour your tongue is a very mighty muscle!

Tune in to the beat of your heart. What does it say?

Do you manage your diagnosis, or does your diagnosis manage you?

What if your body was just a host landscape for another sentient creature?

Senses. We've all got them. But how do they work?

They're good for you. They're bad for you. They are drugs.

Fingernails help us to do all sorts of things, consciously or absent-mindedly.

We’re all different shapes and sizes.

Chemical chatter and digestive dialogue can make for some stimulating conversation.

Letting it all out can often feel better than keeping it all in.

The loudest medicine.

Check you’re happy when the smile police are on patrol.

What do their shapes tell us?

Is yoga class a good time to let go of inhibitions?

When does it feel good to weep?

What’s in a name, or beneath a mole?

Humans don’t like body hair. Unless they do. It depends.

Which parts of pain are physical?

Helpful redness alerting you to leaks.

When I am dead, I want my body to enrich the soil.

The moon has some kind of effect on the tides, but does it really affect you?

Sometimes the body feels like an unfamiliar landscape that you have no map for.

Neat bones, flush and fitting together nicely.

It’s in my legs, it’s in my chest...

I talked in depth with my friends and family about their periods.

The visible light spectrum can’t pass through the body.

You can’t quite fathom how it came out of your body.

Sitting too close to a speaker can cause an infestation.

I was a river. I will be rain.

More hair grows on your eyeball than your armpit.

Where is the pain?

Why bother having sex as an amateur?

Sometimes I feel like I’m on the top floor, looking out.

All the work is worth it.

Each cell in your body is full of stuff.

Imagine a blow-hole in your crown.

They say that the nuclei of atoms never truly come into contact with one another.

Try pressing this so-called ‘button’ and see what happens.

Riding a demodicid across the vast open facial plains.

A long life living under a toenail. Sheltered from the terrible world outside.

Picking a lock is easy when you use the tools at your disposal.

When I pay attention I can feel the blood beating around my body.

When I pick my nose I’m blogging.

You would certainly never wear it on your ankle.

You are clay and you were formed from the earth.

Pull the other one.

You don’t want a tapeworm because you don’t like to think of your body as a home for other animals.

The monastery was infested with plague and was quarantined appropriately.

I am huge.