Leanne Mills: archives

This collection is uncatalogued. The following is an interim description which may be altered when detailed cataloguing takes place in future.

In the months ahead of her gender reassignment surgery in 1995, Leanne kept a record of her experiences via audio diary recordings.

The recordings were originally made on two audio cassettes; one of these cassettes has since degraded and is now unplayable. Leanne fortunately digitised both cassettes while they were still in working order. The diary is made up of individual entries, varying in length, from Nov 1994 to Feb 1995, in which Leanne discusses her emotions around surgery and her gender identity, her relationships with family and friends, her hopes and fears around surgery, and her mental health.

When the recordings were finished, Leanne didn't listen to the tapes for twenty years. She then digitised the recordings and interspersed each entry with music. The music Leanne selected was particularly significant to her; she mostly selected songs by Enya, which she listened to while recovering from her operation. She felt that the lyrics to those songs matched her experiences and how she was feeling, and still finds it very evocative if she hears that music today.

Leanne has provided two versions of the audio diary; one with music and one without. The original cassette tapes have not been acquired as these had degraded in quality.

Two wma audio files:

1. “My sex reassignment audio diary”, Nov 1994-Feb 1995 [With music]. 1:48:13

2. “My sex reassignment audio diary”, Nov 1994-Feb 1995 [Without music]. 1:04:16.

For Leanne, recording an audio tape was a way for her to work through the many emotions brought up by transitioning. She also wanted to mark this significant moment in her life and have the recordings to return to later. At the time of making the diary, Leanne hadn’t known whether she would ever share the recordings more publicly. It took twenty years before Leanne could listen to the recordings again herself, and she then played the diary to a friend who had been supportive of her at the time. Leanne is reflective about the process of re-listening to the audio diary years on and wants it to be preserved so that others can find comfort in her story or learn about trans experiences.

1994-1995

2 audio files

This collection is uncatalogued. The following is an interim description which may be altered when detailed cataloguing takes place in future.

Leanne Mills is a trans woman who went through gender reassignment in 1995.

Leanne was born in Bilborough (Nottinghamshire) and told her parents that she identified as female at the age of seventeen. Her relationship with her parents became strained, and Leanne left home at 18 to live in Birmingham, where she felt able to dress as a woman more openly. In 1980, she began to refer to herself by her chosen name, Leanne, and changed name by deed poll. In the same year, Leanne took part in a ground-breaking documentary “What Am I?”, which looked at the issues faced by the trans community in 1980s Britain. In this documentary, Leanne was interviewed about her gender identity and filmed in conversation with a Doctor.

Leanne contacted her GP for referral to a medical assessment, in the hope of beginning the journey of sex reassignment. She recalled there was only one Doctor in the UK who specialised in this area at this time, called Dr Randall. Leanne was placed on the waiting list to see Dr Randall. While on the waiting list, Leanne lived in a female role for two years without any contact from the doctor. She became depressed at the lack of progress, and went back to presenting as male.

As Leanne’s depression worsened, Leanne felt unable to continue living in her male body and took an overdose. Leanne survived her suicide attempt, and following her recovery from the overdose, felt spurred on to seek urgent medical help. This time, Leanne was more successful in receiving hormone treatment and a referral via the NHS for gender reassignment surgery.

In 1993, Leanne contacted a local transsexual group in Birmingham. Through this group, Leanne developed two friendships with people who provided vital support and accompanied her on trips to London to see medical specialists.

In 1995, Leanne finally had gender reassignment surgery. In the years immediately following surgery, Leanne led a more social life again – going clubbing and making friends and seeking romantic connections. However, she found this period to be short lived and did not have any sexual desire for an intimate relationship. She struggled with dating, as she was uncertain on disclosing her trans identity and her lack of sexual desire.

In the years that followed, Leanne lived a more socially withdrawn life. After her father’s death in 2000, she reconciled her relationship with her mother, though she did not attend her father’s funeral for fear of embarrassing her mother. Leanne has also suffered from post-operative complications and medical issues following her surgery.

In 2018, The Daily Mail published an interview with Leanne about her experiences. The interview came about following a letter that Leanne had written to the newspaper voicing her concerns about the then-proposed Gender Recognition Bill, and her views on young people transitioning. Since, Leanne has continued to contact Government and the media about her experiences and views on trans issues. She feels her opinions as an older transsexual person are often overlooked and that she has been side-lined by the media.

This collection is currently uncatalogued and cannot be ordered online. Requests to view uncatalogued material are considered on a case by case basis. Please contact collections@wellcomecollection.org for more details.